Complications
by Brandywine421
Summary: Ryan and Teresa run into some complications in Chino. Their brothers.
1. 1

_**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything OC related. Seriously.  
AN: Possible One-shot. We'll see. I'm not promising anything. _

* * *

_This work can occupy my mind  
But it won't convince my body that I've been satisfied  
And I'm most alive and I'm most like myself in my dreams  
Your eyes connect the mis-remembered me  
-7 Mary 3___

God, he was tired. Dawn to dusk at the work site was kicking his ass. He ran his hand through his dirt-caked hair as he walked up the porch to Teresa's. His feet were heavy from exhaustion and the steel-toed requirements he was forced to wear. He'd stripped off his work shirt on the walk home and had it draped over his shoulder. His white wife-beater was dark with grime and dirt from the site.

He heard voices inside as he opened the door. He leaned over and unlaced his boots, stepping out of them and leaving them on the porch.

"Ryan?" Teresa appeared in the kitchen. She was rosy with the pregnancy but he could tell that something was wrong.

They hadn't fallen into their old habits right away, the tension and residual guilt making a wall between them but they had remembered why they were so close in the past. They were friends again. And Ryan didn't have anyone else left, since Seth had disappeared after he'd left and he was still feeling the loss. Teresa was his best friend again and he knew that something was wrong.

"What is it?" He asked. His voice was gravelly from lack of use. He hadn't bothered to make friends with the men on the construction crew, he knew that the turnover rate was outrageous out there and he rarely felt like conversation.

Teresa turned and motioned toward the living room.

"I'll be damned. She was telling the truth. How the hell are you, little brother?" Trey was grinning from him from the doorway.

"You calling my sister a liar?" Arturo chimed in.

Shit.

---- --- - --- -- ---- -- -- - - ---- -- ------ - --- ---- -- -- ----- - -- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- - - - -- --- - -- - ---- -- - - - -----

He sat with Teresa's hand in his while Arturo talked. He was numb. He vaguely registered the words, 'work detail' and 'escape' and 'fugitives'.

Trey was drinking from a six pack sitting beside the recliner. They'd only been home a few hours but they'd already ransacked the fridge and managed to get beer.

Ryan didn't scold them. This wasn't his house. This was Teresa's mother's house. He couldn't kick them out, Trey was his brother, Arturo was Teresa's brother. They had to help them.

Teresa squeezed his hand tightly.

"So, how long's Mom going to be gone?" Arturo asked.

"A few weeks," Teresa answered. "Auntie is going to die. Ma's going to stay until she goes."

"We should be gone by then. We just need to save up enough cash to skip town," Trey said, meeting Ryan's gaze. Ryan looked at Teresa's hand in his.

"How much?" He asked quietly.

"Two grand. You think you can help me out with that?" Trey asked.

Ryan glared at him but he didn't argue. He didn't say anything. He'd get the two grand if it would get Trey out of town. He had about 4,000 saved for the baby's expenses but he wouldn't give that to Trey. He'd have to make more money.

"Damn. So, Ryan. What the hell are you doing here?" Arturo asked.

"Eddie didn't tell you?" Trey sneered. "Ryan knocked up Teresa."

"Fuck you," Teresa snapped, storming out of the room.

Arturo was clearly surprised. "But you weren't even in Newport…"

"Teresa and Eddie had some problems. We hooked up again," Ryan said slowly.

"What kind of problems?" Arturo asked.

"You can ask Eddie all about it," Ryan said, meeting Eddie's gaze as he walked into the living room. Ryan stood up and followed Teresa into the bedroom. He tried to ignore the jubilant welcome Trey and Arturo gave to Eddie.

He could do this. He had to help Trey. He had to take care of Teresa. He could handle this. He'd get another job and he'd take care of it.

---- --- - --- -- ---- -- -- - - ---- -- ------ - --- ---- -- -- ----- - -- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- - - - -- --- - -- - ---- -- - - - -----

"Sandy Cohen."

"Sandy? It's Ryan…I hope its okay that I called…"

"Of course it is, kid, what's going on, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah…I just wanted to call."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just…I haven't talked to you in a while."

"Kirsten fills me in. I'm sorry that I haven't been there to talk to you lately, Caleb's case has me swamped…"

"How's that going?"

"It's going. How's Teresa?"

"Good, she's good."

"You don't sound so good, kid."

"I'm fine. I just…I needed to hear a friendly voice…"

"What's wrong, Ryan?"

"Nothing, Sandy, I swear. I won't bother you…"

"You're not bothering me…"

"I'm sorry. I'll call Kirsten tomorrow."

---- --- - --- -- ---- -- -- - - ---- -- ------ - --- ---- -- -- ----- - -- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- - - - -- --- - -- - ---- -- - - - -----

"You'll call if you see them?" The cop held out his card and Ryan took it, twirling it in his fingers.

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you. Congratulations to you and your wife," The officer said as Ryan closed the door. He turned and leaned his back against it as Teresa stared at him from several feet away.

"Ryan…" Teresa walked over to him and put her arms around him. He immediately returned her hug. She was one of the few people he allowed to hug him like this. She knew him. She knew how hard this was going to be.

"We can't tell the cops," Ryan whispered.

"I know, but…" She started. "You're always at work and what if the cops come and you're not here…"

"Teresa. You're freaking out.." He said calmly, running his hand through her long hair as she started to cry.

"I love 'Turo…but what are we going to do?"

"We can't kick them out, Teresa…"

"Mom would…if she were here…"

"Have you told her?"

"Auntie's still really sick, I don't want to worry her…" She sniffled, linking her arms behind his back.

"Then don't. They're just going to lie low here for a few days and then they'll go. Trey says that he's only trying to save enough money to skip town to Mexico…"

"You believe him?"

"Arturo hasn't told you anything?"

"He's my brother, not my friend," She sighed into his chest. He knew what she meant. Arturo was fiercely protective of his little sister, but he'd never treated her like an individual. Just his baby sister.

"It'll be okay."

"I'm sorry I lost my job. You're working so hard…"

"We'll figure something out. Something to get you out of the house all day when I'm gone. Something that won't be too stressful."

"Okay. We'll figure it out."

---- --- - --- -- ---- -- -- - - ---- -- ------ - --- ---- -- -- ----- - -- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- - - - -- --- - -- - ---- -- - - - -----

The calls started coming more frequently. Sandy would be in the office studying a file and his pocket would vibrate. It was always late and it was always that Chino area code.

Sandy was glad that Ryan was calling him, he never made it home in time for his calls to Kirsten, but he was growing more and more curious as to why the boy was calling. Ryan had always been cryptic and uncommunicative but it had started to grate on Sandy's nerves. He needed to know why the kid kept calling and not saying anything.

"Hey, kid."

"Sandy. What's going on?"

"Not much."

"How's the case coming?"

"It's coming. Caleb's got a long fight ahead of him. How are you?"

"Fine."

"Ryan…you keep calling and it's great to hear from you, but…is everything really okay?"

"Yeah, is this a bad time?"

"No, kid, it's never a bad time…"

"I guess…I guess I just miss you guys."

"We miss you, too. Ryan…do you need something? Do you need money?"

The line was silent.

"Ryan? You know that we will help you…"

"That's not why I call. I'm sorry if you thought that. I won't call you anymore…"

"No, Ryan, wait…"

"I don't call you because of that. I can't believe…I can't believe you'd even think that."

The line went dead before Sandy could even reply.

---- --- - --- -- ---- -- -- - - ---- -- ------ - --- ---- -- -- ----- - -- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- - - - -- --- - -- - ---- -- - - - -----

Ryan shed his work shirt in the kitchen and walked over to the refrigerator for something to scratch the itch in his throat. He sighed as he realized that there was nothing but beer in the fridge.

"What's going on, little bro?" Trey's voice still made him jump.

"Nothing."

"So, how was work?"

Ryan glared at him as he closed the door to the fridge. "Why are you asking? What's going on?"

"Fuck me for showing an interest," Trey snapped.

"Yeah, fuck you, Trey," Ryan replied, walking past him into the den.

"What's your fucking issue, Ry?" Trey asked, reaching out and grabbing his arm and spinning him around.

It'd been a long time since anyone had grabbed Ryan like that and he retaliated, shoving Trey back several steps. Trey seemed stunned and stared at his brother.

Ryan leaned in close, his eyes sizing up Trey. His brother had always kicked his ass, but Ryan was bigger now, he was stronger. Trey was just a wiry little man and Ryan's clothes hung loosely off his frame.

"What's your beef?" Trey whispered, looking in Ryan's eyes.

"You. You come in here and take over everything. We're supposed to feed you, clothe you, keep the cops away…and you don't have any respect for me or Teresa…"

"Respect? You want respect?" Trey snapped.

Ryan pushed Trey against the wall with the palm of his hand pressed against his chest. "I expect a little respect. Teresa is carrying a child. She doesn't need to have to worry about your bullshit…"

"That baby's Eddie's…" Trey muttered and Ryan punched him before he finished.

He didn't really think about what he was doing. He just hit.

"Trey! Ry! Stop it…" Arturo's voice broke into his consciousness and the next thing he knew, he was on his back and Trey was on top of him.

"Stop it! Ryan, stop it right now!"

It took Teresa's voice to break them up. Ryan shoved Trey off him during a pause and Arturo pulled Trey away. Teresa grabbed Ryan's arm and pulled him to his feet.

"It's over. Come on, baby, let's get you cleaned up…" Teresa said, almost touching his face with her hand, but hesitating, not wanting to hurt him. She waited until he met her gaze before pulling him down the hall to their room.

It took Ryan twenty minutes to get his breathing back to normal. Teresa washed his face and after she was satisfied, she ran her fingers through his hair until he was okay. She made him okay.

_---- --- - --- -- ---- -- -- - - ---- -- ------ - --- ---- -- -- ----- - -- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- - - - -- --- - -- - ---- -- - - - -----_

Ryan took off his hard hat and perched on the hood of Teresa's car. She hadn't been able to get a job yet and Trey and Arturo were still staying with them. Two weeks of them raiding the fridge and eating all the groceries. Two weeks of drunken interruptions when he was trying to get some much needed sleep. Two weeks of having Eddie laughing with Trey and Arturo in their living room.

Teresa brought him lunch every day. When they were at home together, they stayed sequestered in their room, talking quietly. Arturo had taken the TV and pawned it so he'd been entertaining her by teaching her how to count cards. She loved her brother, but their arguments were volatile. Arturo would never hit a woman, but he'd 'slap some sense into T' in a heartbeat. Ryan couldn't do anything about it, Teresa insisted that 'sibling violence' didn't count. It wasn't like Ryan and Trey didn't do their share of battling.

He was falling in love with her again and it wasn't exactly the best time. He knew that she loved him and he knew that she had given up a lot to be with him from Eddie's glares every time she walked out of the bedroom. She loved Ryan. She always had.

She sat down beside him and held out his bag. He ran a hand through his sweat plastered hair and gave her a smile.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. How's work?"

"Fine," He answered. She could tell he was exhausted. She turned him gently and began to massage his shoulders as he took a bite of the sandwich she'd brought. He kept his fingers on the outside of the sandwich bag to keep the filth on his hands from tainting the food.

"So, someone called for you, today. You didn't tell me that you were applying for another job."

"Yeah, part-time at the diner. They've been having some crime problems and needed a waiter that could double as a bouncer of sorts. The only man in the place is the cook and he's only got one leg," Ryan explained.

"Sounds like a plan," She said quietly. He immediately turned to face her.

"I don't want to. But Trey and 'Turo aren't going to leave without money. If I take this job, I can make the money faster."

"I know. This whole thing…it just blows, Ryan. We don't need this…"

"I told the diner guy that my girlfriend would be keeping me company. He said you get to eat for free, if I work out," Ryan said with a smile.

"You…you wouldn't mind?"

"I don't get to see you enough as it is. I mean, I'm here for you and I never get to see you. I know you hate being cooped up in the house and this way…I can make sure you're safe."

She embraced him gently. "I'm always safe if I'm with you."

---- --- - --- -- ---- -- -- - - ---- -- ------ - --- ---- -- -- ----- - -- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- - - - -- --- - -- - ---- -- - - - -----

He didn't bother taking his boots off anymore, he swung the door open and stepped inside. The house was trashed again, beer cans and empty food containers everywhere.

"You're going to drag your brother into every one of your fuck-ups?" Ryan froze at the sound of Sandy's voice.

"Fuck you," Trey snapped.

"Sandy? What are you doing here?" Ryan hurried into the living room.

"Ryan, thank god…" Sandy said, relieved. He was standing toe to toe with Trey and both men were flushed with anger.

"You better get him the hell out of here," Trey told Ryan.

"You're the one that should get the hell out…" Sandy snapped.

Trey took a step forward but Ryan quickly pushed Sandy back and stepped between them.

"Trey, stop it."

"He's going to snitch…"

"Chill out, Trey. Go downstairs," Ryan said evenly. The basement had become their panic room. Arturo and Trey both had cots down there and it was the only room where they could smoke inside. It was one of the few rules they'd follow.

"Fuck you, Ry…"

"Dammit, Trey, go downstairs."

Trey turned and stormed out of the room.

Ryan sighed and turned to face Sandy.

"Ryan, what the hell are you thinking?"

He looked at Sandy for a long moment and then walked past him toward his bedroom.

"Ryan, wait…" Sandy said immediately, regretting his tone.

"I have to get ready for work, come on." Ryan unlocked the door and stepped in.

"Hey, baby…" Teresa was sitting on the bed with a book opened and Ryan's headphones on her ears.

Ryan kissed her on the cheek and motioned to the door where Sandy was standing.

"Mr. Cohen…"

"Teresa…"

"I have to get a shower, can you…" Ryan started.

"I'll stay with Mr. Cohen," Teresa said immediately.

"Ryan, we have to talk…"

Ryan closed the door to the bathroom. Sandy winced at the slam.

"He only has 45 minutes to get to his job at the diner," Teresa explained. "Have a seat…"

"Teresa, what is Ryan's brother doing here?"

"Arturo's here, too. They escaped a few weeks ago…" She said quietly once the shower was heard from the bathroom. Sandy didn't move from the doorway.

"You're harboring fugitives…"

"They're family…we don't have a choice."

"Teresa…"

She got up and closed the door behind Sandy. "You don't understand." She searched Sandy's face for doubt but he really didn't understand. He was angry.

"I thought your mother lived here…" Sandy's anger was fading into confusion and concern.

"She's out of town taking care of her sister. My aunt has cancer."

"God, Teresa, why didn't you call me?"

She gave him a tired look. "There's nothing you can do. 'Turo and Trey…they have nothing to do with you. They're only staying until they save enough money…"

"Where are they getting the money?"

Teresa sighed. "People know them around here so they…they don't really go out much…"

"So…the money?" Sandy urged.

Ryan stepped out wearing fresh jeans. His shaggy hair was still damp and he was more muscular from working construction.

"They said they only need two grand. So I'm taking care of it?"

"How? Ryan…"

"I'm not breaking the law…"

"You're breaking your back, instead?" Sandy snapped. "You look exhausted and…"

"Mr. Cohen…" Teresa started, seeing the effect his anger was having on Ryan. Ryan's eyes were dimming, getting harder as he tried to ignore Sandy's words.

"I need to speak to Ryan," Sandy said quietly, giving her a stern look.

Ryan walked over and put an arm around Teresa. "There's nothing we can't say in front of her."

Teresa turned and got Ryan's shirt from a drawer. She didn't want to come between Ryan and Sandy, but she knew that both were stubborn and that this was just the beginning.

"Ryan, I can't let you stay in this environment?"

"This 'environment?'" Ryan snorted.

"If the cops find out…"

"I won't turn my brother in. I can't," Ryan said, pulling the shirt over his head. Teresa smoothed out his hair and straightened his shirt. Sandy was clearly surprised at the caring routine between them.

"Ryan…" Sandy started.

"There's nothing you can do. You've made it worse by coming here," Teresa said quietly.

"I'll give you the money…"

"I won't take your money, not for this. Listen, I have to get to work…will you drive me?" Ryan was clearly torn but focused.

"Can we talk?" Sandy asked. He had to talk some sense into Ryan.

"While I work." Ryan turned to Teresa and kissed her softly. "I'll see you at nine?"

"Absolutely."

"Tell Trey…" He needed to talk to his brother, he needed to make sure he wouldn't do anything stupid.

"I'll take care of it. Talk to Sandy." Teresa gave him a reassuring hug.

---- --- - --- -- ---- -- -- - - ---- -- ------ - --- ---- -- -- ----- - -- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- - - - -- --- - -- - ---- -- - - - -----

Sandy followed Ryan out of the bedroom and past Eddie onto the porch. Sandy did a double take, glancing back at the boy that had attacked Ryan months earlier.

"Eddie's here, too?"

"Eddie, Trey and Arturo are pretty tight," Ryan said flatly.

"Ryan, this is just…"

"It's a big fucking mess. You think I don't know that? You think I wanted this to happen?" Ryan whispered urgently, spinning around to face Sandy. "I am here for Teresa. There's no other reason. I'm dealing with this shit the best I can and the faster I can get them the hell out of here, the faster we can get on with our lives."

"Ryan…"

"Dammit, Sandy, I'm trying…"Ryan said seriously and Sandy could see on his face how hard he was trying. He'd been managing with his construction job but now he had to take another job to support his fugitive brother.

"Calm down…"

"You should've called," Ryan whispered as Sandy popped the locks on the BMW so Ryan could get in. Once Ryan had given him the directions to the diner, three blocks away, Sandy started to drive.

"So. That's why you've been calling?"

"No. I called you because I wanted to talk to you. I didn't call you for help or for money, I called because I wanted to talk to you. It was a mistake, I see that now. What the hell are you even doing here, Sandy?"

Sandy was stricken to hear the question. He never wanted Ryan to doubt him, he never wanted Ryan to question his importance in his life but Ryan's voice was cold.

"I came to check on my son. You call Kirsten but you never tell her anything…"

"She's worried sick about Seth. Anything I can do to make it better, I will. This isn't your problem…"

"You don't have to take care of your brother…"Sandy said as he parked the beamer.

"Sandy. You don't know anything about this. Please. Just go home." Ryan stepped out.

"We are going to talk, Ryan…" Sandy followed him out of the car.

"Okay. This is where I work. It should be pretty slow, I just need to clock in and then I'll take your order. Sit over there, down by the end." Ryan pointed out a booth in the corner.

"Ryan, let me talk to your boss, we need to sit down and…"

"I can't lose this job. We'll have time to talk. Unless you don't want to wait…"

"I'll wait."

---- --- - --- -- ---- -- -- - - ---- -- ------ - --- ---- -- -- ----- - -- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- - - - -- --- - -- - ---- -- - - - -----

Sandy drank three cups of coffee before Ryan slid into the booth across from him.

"Ryan. It's good to see you. Have I told you that yet?"

Ryan met his gaze for a split second before lowering it. .

Sandy's anger had disappeared while watching Ryan work. The kid was in a bad situation and was just trying to hang on. He was good at his job, Sandy noticed that he was bussing tables and serving customers that weren't even his tables. The waitresses respected him and the customers seemed to respect him, too.

"Ryan. I want to help you…"

"I don't need your help. I have it under control…"

"Ryan."

"I know it doesn't seem like it, but I do. And…I love Teresa. This is where I need to be."

"I want you and Teresa to come home with me."

Ryan shook his head. "We can't."

"Ryan…"

"You don't understand. Seth hates me, Sandy. He really hates me. I won't come back. I won't go back there…no matter how much I want it…I can't…"

"Ryan, Seth will come to his senses…" Sandy started, enlightened by Ryan's confession. Now that he had something to work with, he knew he could convince Ryan to come home.

"Ryan…"Eddie ran up to the table, breathless. He skidded to a stop and collided with the edge of the booth, upsetting both the coffees.

"What the hell, Eddie?" Ryan snapped.

"It's Teresa, you have to come…" He panted.

"What? What happened?" Ryan asked immediately, standing up.

"She was arguing with 'Turo and he shoved her, she fell and…"

Ryan turned and saw several of the waitresses watching him. They nodded and waved for him to go.

Sandy stood up and took Ryan's arm. "I'm driving. Let's go."

---- --- - --- -- ---- -- -- - - ---- -- ------ - --- ---- -- -- ----- - -- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- - - - -- --- - -- - ---- -- - - - -----

Ryan jumped out of the car before Sandy even stopped. An ambulance and several police cars were blocking the street.

He recognized Trey and Arturo in handcuffs beside the porch. Arturo had blood all over him. Ryan tried to get to the porch, but the cops stopped him.

"My girlfriend's in there, you have to let me by…" Ryan insisted. Sandy approached and pulled Ryan back.

Sandy spoke to the officer quietly while keeping his hand clenched around Ryan's muscular arm. Finally, after a panicked few seconds, Sandy led Ryan behind the officer to the front porch.

"Ryan, I'm sorry…" Arturo started, his face streaked with tears. "I didn't mean to hurt her…"

"You never mean to hurt her, but she's your sister…she's pregnant, she has a life inside her and you don't even care…if you hurt her, I'll…" Ryan snapped. Trey kept his eyes locked on the ground. Sandy pulled him away from the men and into the house.

The paramedics were lifting Teresa's body on a stretcher when they got inside.

"Teresa? Is she okay? What happened?" Ryan asked quickly, looking at the medics desperately. Sandy held his arm tightly and Ryan was barely staying beside him, pulling toward Teresa.

"Son, just let them work…" Sandy urged, seeing the blood dripping from the stretcher. Something was sticking out of Teresa's side.

"Are you family?"

"He's her boyfriend, she's carrying his baby," Sandy answered when Ryan finally pulled away and went to Teresa's side.

"Oh…I'm sorry, sir, but…"

"Is she going to be all right?" Ryan asked, his eyes flashing as he realized what the EMT was trying to tell him.

"We're going to do everything we can for her…she fell down the stairs and landed on a tool someone had left out…we need to take her to the hospital…"

"I want to go with her…" He said.

"I'm sorry, sir…"

"We'll follow the ambulance, okay?" Sandy said gently, taking Ryan's arm again as the medics rolled Teresa outside.

"I can't lose her. Sandy, I can't…" Ryan said blankly.

"You won't. Let's go, okay?"

---- --- - --- -- ---- -- -- - - ---- -- ------ - --- ---- -- -- ----- - -- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- - - - -- --- - -- - ---- -- - - - -----

"I can't lose her…I can't…" Ryan said suddenly, coming to life and starting for the doors.

"Ryan, no, you have to let the doctors work…" Sandy and several orderlies and nurses held him back.

"She needs me…"Ryan said, his blue eyes dark with desperation.

Teresa's anguished voice echoed through the hallway. "Ryan! Ryan…"

"Please…please, let me go…" Tears started to streak down his face as he struggled.

Teresa cried out for him again.

"Let me go…"

Sandy held Ryan's arms as he deflated. "Ryan, you have to wait…" One of the nurses rushed into Teresa's room.

"She needs me, please, Sandy…please…" He begged. Sandy couldn't look in Ryan's eyes, he couldn't bear to see the emotion in his eyes.

The nurse returned and nodded to Sandy, taking Ryan by the arm and leading him into the room.

He immediately went to her side, by her head where the doctors weren't gathered. "It's all right, baby, I'm here…" He said.

"Ryan…" She whispered, grabbing his hand desperately.

"Shh…" He wiped her face with his hand. "It's going to be okay…" He didn't look at the blood trickling onto the floor or hanging in the bag beside him. He kept his eyes locked with Teresa.

"Don't leave me…"

"I'll never leave you, Teresa, I'm right here…"

"I'm sorry, I…"

"You didn't do anything wrong, just relax and keep looking at me…they're taking care of you…"

She swallowed thickly and something flashed in her eyes. "I think I'm dying, Ryan…"

"No, no…you're okay…"

"Ryan…"

"Do something," He ordered the doctors, turning his attention to them quickly.

"Sir, she's losing too much blood…"

"Ryan, look at me…I love you, okay?"

He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think. He finally settled his gaze on her again. She was squeezing his hand still but her grip wasn't as strong.

"Teresa, you're going to be fine…"

"Listen, Ryan…please…I love you, okay? And if I don't…"

"Stop it, you're going to be fine…" He said. He saw the doctors shaking their heads out of the corner of his eye.

"Ryan…just stay with me, okay?"

One of the doctors tapped Ryan on the shoulder and he glanced over. The doctor said something to him quietly but Ryan didn't listen. She wasn't going to die. She wasn't going to die today. Please.

The nurses and doctors started to file out of the room and Teresa let out a whimper, grabbing Ryan's other hand and holding them both tightly.

"Oh, Ryan…I'm so sorry…"

"You have nothing to be sorry for…just calm down, okay? Everything's going to be fine. Remember…remember when we first went to the park? You were sitting on the swing in that little skirt…"

"Ryan…no…"

"No, listen…" He said gently and she immediately relaxed, listening. "You were wearing that little skirt and you really wanted to swing but you didn't want the boys looking at you…"

"So you told me to wrap my arms around the chains and hold my skirt down…you said you'd catch me if I fell…" She finished.

"And I did…you almost went headfirst into the sandbox…"

"You skinned both your knees and you didn't even shed a tear…" She whispered, crying.

"I was just glad I caught you…"

"You always caught me…please, Ryan…just…will you just hold me?"

He could see her fading and he leaned over the bed and wrapped his arms around her. She wrapped his arms around him and clung to him.

"Please…don't say anything…just stay…" She murmured into his chest. He rocked her gently. He heard the monitor beeping urgently but he focused his attention on Teresa. When the beeping turned into a constant tone, he didn't release her.

After several minutes, her arms relaxed and he lowered her back to the bed. Her eyes were closed and she wasn't breathing.

A nurse was waiting by the door, she had remained behind when the doctors had given him time with Teresa. She walked over to him and patted him on the back. "Your father's outside…"

"Can I have some time with her?" Ryan managed.

"Sure."

---- --- - --- -- ---- -- -- - - ---- -- ------ - --- ---- -- -- ----- - -- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- - - - -- --- - -- - ---- -- - - - -----

Sandy was pacing outside the room. The doctors had left Ryan alone in the room with a nurse, so either Teresa was stable or she…or she was gone.

His mind was spinning. Ryan's broken voice saying that he couldn't lose her. Ryan's eyes when he told him that Seth hated him. Ryan's plea for him to leave.

His phone was buzzing in his pocket but he didn't feel like talking to anyone. He needed to see Ryan.

The door opened and Ryan stepped out.

"Ryan?"

"I have to go."

"Ryan, no, wait…how's Teresa…"

"Teresa's dead. She's dead." Ryan walked past him but Sandy jogged to catch up with him. He grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"Ryan. Wait. Just wait. Please. Let me take you home."

"Teresa…Teresa was my home. Let me go, Sandy. Please."

Sandy released his arm. He couldn't deny Ryan the chance to grieve. He didn't know that Ryan loved her to such an extent. Ryan took several steps away from him. "I'll call."

"Will you?"

"I'll call," He repeated and then walked out of the hospital.

---- --- - --- -- ---- -- -- - - ---- -- ------ - --- ---- -- -- ----- - -- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- - - - -- --- - -- - ---- -- - - - -----


	2. 2

_AN: This has been eating at me a while now and I finally got it typed up. This is an AU now since the first half was written during the hiatus. What can I say? Everyone loves puppies. _

* * *

Kirsten answered the phone anxiously. "Hello?"

Ryan always called at exactly 3:15, or at least until two days ago when he'd walked out of the hospital where Teresa died.

There was a long pause. "Hey."

"Thank god. Are you okay?"

"I'm…I don't know, honestly. Heard from Seth?"

"No. Nothing since the postcard. Can I ask where you are?"

"I can't come back yet."

"I'm not asking you to. Ease my mind."

"I'm at a hotel. A crappy one, but the locks work and I'm out of the rain. I bought some clothes and deodorant and stuff today. I'm in Reno." His words were like short breaths.

"Nevada?"

"Yeah. I used to come here a lot when I was a kid…"

"You're still a kid," she interjected softly.

He was silent.

"Are you eating?" she asked. She had to get as much mothering in as she could.

"I did today. Did you go to the service?"

"It's tomorrow, honey."

"I…I can't go. She would understand. I just…"

"It's okay, Ryan," she said. She'd give anything to have him in the same room with her so she could make sure he was okay, but he'd called. It meant everything that he'd called.

"You'll go?"

"I'm heading over there later tonight to help Eva. She's worried about you," she added.

"Can you send her my love?"

The words sounded strange coming from Ryan, but she didn't fully understand the boy's relationship with Teresa or her mother. She'd met Eva for the first time the previous day and could tell from that initial meeting that the woman cared about Ryan.

"I will. How long are you staying in Reno?"

He hesitated and finally spoke in a soft whisper, as if his voice hurt him. "I built my life around her. And she's just gone. I don't want to see anyone. I am so angry, Kirsten. This shouldn't have happened. Arturo was her brother and Trey…Trey knew how important she was to me…I'm angry and I'm scared and…I don't trust myself to be around anyone."

"I'm worried about you," she admitted.

"Thanks. I…I appreciate you, Kirsten. Seth…I'm pretty angry at him too, for bailing on me. But you've stuck by me and…it means a lot to me. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Sandy's worried, too."

"Sandy…I love you guys. I'll call tomorrow."

"I love you, too," she said, waiting until he hung up.

She let herself cry.

* * *

Sandy started getting letters for Ryan three days after the funeral. Two a day. 

He didn't open any of them but he started putting them in a shoebox. The return address was etched in his brain though, so when the box was half full, he put the top on it and got in his car.

He hadn't talked to Ryan since the day he'd watched him walk away.

Kirsten was receiving daily calls and filled him in almost verbatim, but Ryan hadn't called him.

Both of his sons were gone.

He was helpless. At least with Seth, he knew that he'd done his best raising him. Ryan had only lived with Sandy a year. Ryan was self-taught. Raised by criminals.

Sandy parked outside the prison in Chino.

It was an hour before Trey Atwood was escorted into the private room.

Sandy dumped the letters on the table in front of the younger man. "He's not home."

"What? Where is he? Eva won't talk to me or 'Turo," Trey said, visibly stricken.

"He's not talking to me."

"Mr. Cohen, everything got out of control…"

"I don't know you, Trey, I only know Ryan. And I don't know what happened in the house that day but I'm guessing that it had to do with me showing up. But I'm not taking the blame. You were in that house. Ryan wasn't there because he was trying to make money for you to be a fugitive. You put him in danger. You put Teresa in danger. Their child. You used him, you used Teresa and now she's dead and he's too upset to come home to people that actually care about him."

"I care about him…" Trey snapped.

"Really? You care about him," Sandy stated. He was too angry to sit down. "That's why you always leave your messes for him to clean up? That's why you let Arturo hit the woman that he loved? That's why you don't give a shit about his well-being?"

"Don't talk to me like that, you don't know me…"

"I don't know you. I don't want to know you. It's amazing to me that you share any of the same genes with your brother because he is a good kid, a good man, and you…you're just trash. Keep your letters. Keep writing them and I'll make sure that when I talk to Ryan that he knows you want to talk to him. It'll be his decision to come and see you." He turned to leave the room.

"Mr. Cohen. I'm…I'm sorry."

"You should be." Sandy banged on the door for the guard.

He'd finally calmed down once he reached the parking lot and sat down in his car.

His cell phone rang in his pocket and he leaned back as he started the car and turned the air on full blast. He put it to his ear. "Sandy Cohen."

"Sandy. Hey."

"Ryan? Hey, kid…" Sandy snapped alert.

"Hey. You busy?"

"I'm never too busy for you. How're you doing?"

"Okay, I guess. Making money."

"You got a job?"

"Not really. Just…gambling. I have to eat, or so your wife keeps telling me."

"You do have to eat. Are you taking care of yourself?"

"Better." There was a long pause. "I was thinking about coming back. Kirsten seems sincere but…"

"Ryan. I want you home," he said as gently as he could manage.

"I…I think of Newport as home now," Ryan whispered after a beat. "Mom's gone. There's nothing for me in Chino. I have to get over Teresa. I have to move on with my life."

Sandy kept his voice calm despite his eagerness. "You can come home. No questions asked. Harbor starts next week and…if you want…we can call Dr. Kim and enroll you."

Ryan was silent.

"We'd be happy just to see you. It's so good to hear your voice…"

"I'll pay my tab and catch a bus back. But I don't know if I can stay with you without Seth," he admitted.

Sandy glanced up and realized where he was. "I need to tell you something."

"Okay."

"Trey's been sending you letters."

The line was quiet. "Did you open them?"

"No. I took them back to him. Unopened. Told him to keep them. I told him it was up to you if you wanted to see him or hear what he had to say."

"I can fight my own battles," Ryan breathed.

Sandy closed his eyes, thinking that his honesty had ruined his chances at getting the kid home.

"But thanks. I don't want to talk to him. I'm pissed and I don't want to think about what I'd do to him."

"So…"

"I'll come back. We…we can talk."

"Can I ask you when?"

"Give me a couple of days."

"Okay, kid."

"Wait. Before I hang up…I bought a phone. Prepaid, but I have voicemail if you want the number…"

"Yes, Ryan, I want it," he said immediately.

Ryan rattled off the number and Sandy scribbled them onto a napkin.

"Be careful, kid. I can't wait to see you."

* * *

Kirsten had everything ready, she'd taken the rest of the week off and cleaned the entire house with Rosa. She'd gone shopping for clothes and managed to get Ryan's school supplies, books and schedule, just in case. 

"Any word?" Sandy asked, coming into the kitchen.

"Not yet. I left a message though, asking him to call us when his bus got in so we could pick him up," she answered.

"He might not be here today. He said a couple of days…"

"Are you going to let him stay somewhere else? He needs to be here. You have to make him…"

"Kirsten. The last time I saw him, we argued. You're the one he trusts now," he replied and she could see how much it hurt him and how much he believed it.

"He gave you his phone number. He forgave you for talking to Trey…" she started.

The doorbell rang and they both froze. Rosa hurried past them to the doorway.

Kirsten gripped her husband's arm and they went into the foyer.

Ryan was standing on the porch and if she hadn't been so happy to see him, she would have gasped in shock.

He was disheveled in frayed jeans and a gray t-shirt. His hair was longer and shaggy and he had a scruffy beard that aged him 10 years. Dark circles traced his pale eyes, but he smiled at her uncertainly.

"They really missed you," Rosa smiled, kissing his cheek before gracefully disappearing.

"Hey. I just got your message," he said, his voice painfully soft. He had a small dufflebag over his shoulder.

She walked over and embraced him. He wasn't her son but he was a genuinely good kid that she wished she could have known before he had became a man. She knew she'd do anything for him, anything to make him safe and make him smile. "It's good to see you."

"You, too. I'm sorry you were worried," he said.

"It's what we do best, kid," Sandy smiled, shaking his hand and pulling him into an unsteady hug.

"Come in, sit down, you look exhausted," she said, putting her hand to his forehead. He was hot.

"I walked from the bus station but Carl, the gateman remembered me," Ryan replied, smiling shyly as he turned his face away from her concerned touch and sat down on the couch.

Sandy settled on the end so she could be close to Ryan.

"Ryan, I know you just got here but…can I ask you a favor?"

"Okay," he replied, tensing up.

"Will you stay here with us? I know…I know you're angry at Seth…" she started.

"I'm worried, too. When I know he's okay, then I'll be angry," he replied. His voice was still soft and quiet.

"But you belong here with us," Sandy said.

Ryan sighed. He lifted the dufflebag off the carpet and held it out to Sandy. "Open it."

She watched as Sandy unzipped the bag and gingerly pulled out a towel with a hotel logo on it wrapped in a bundle. He untied it and a flood of casino chips tumbled onto their laps.

"Ryan…how much is this?" Sandy asked, finding more bundles in the bag.

"I don't really know. I cashed out a few thousand and sent it to Eva. I guess…I wasn't really playing for the money, more like killing time. And I figured you guys would disapprove…if not…Seth once mentioned when we were in Vegas that I should play to win the 'Seth and Ryan go to Europe money' so…" Ryan's words were in short breaths again.

"You seem so lonely, Ryan…I'm so glad you're here," she murmured, patting his knee.

"Please. Stay," Sandy said.

"Even though…" Ryan motioned to the chips.

"You're safe. That's all that matters to us. Everything else is inconsequential."

Ryan hesitated, but finally nodded. "Okay. I'll stay."

"We'll cash those chips when you're 18 and maybe you can tell me how you did it," Sandy smiled, relief evident on his face.

"The poolhouse is all ready for you, we left it just the way you did with a few improvements…"

"You didn't go shopping, did you?" Ryan smiled, relaxing slightly.

"What do you think?" she smirked.

"She almost bought you a puppy," Sandy joked.

She blushed. Ryan caught her guilty gaze. "You didn't."

"Kirsten?" Sandy gasped.

And the damned thing barked.

* * *

Sandy washed his hand and helped Rosa load the dishwasher from lunch. 

Kirsten and Ryan were in the kitchen floor with the…thing. The dog.

It was a mutt if Sandy had ever seen one but it was smitten with the blonds in the house. He was white with brown splotches and tufts of grey on his incredibly expressive ears.

"I still can't believe you bought a dog," Sandy sighed.

"Aww, Sandy…he's so cute, don't be such a grump," Kirsten smiled. A real smile, the first one he'd seen in weeks. She held the puppy up on her shoulder and it tilted its head at him, sizing him up.

"You brought home a stray kid, she should be able to bring a puppy home," Ryan said. He had been getting more relaxed as time passed. He clearly liked the…creature.

"Mr. Cohen. Everyone loves puppies," Rosa added.

The dog barked at him.

"What do you say, 'dog'?" he sighed, holding out his hand to pet it.

The dog nuzzled against his hand, satisfied.

* * *

"I'm going to go get a shower and crash for a while," Ryan said. 

"Oh…you sure?" Kirsten asked, disappointed.

"I'm wiped," he admitted. He hadn't been able to sleep in Reno. Since Teresa.

But ever since he'd made the decision to come home, he'd felt better. It was like his blood started to flow again.

"Come on, Kirsten, he's well-fed, home safe and now he needs to rest. Can I walk you?" Sandy asked him.

"Sure."

"I'm going to walk the dog. I'll come check on you later, Ryan," she said.

Ryan was relieved that Sandy was being so nice. He'd been worried. He respected Sandy too much to be angry at him. Sandy had come to Chino because he was worried about him. Sandy had always looked out for him.

Sandy patted him on the back as they walked outside. "You look beat, kid."

"I didn't really get much sleep. Bad dreams. But I didn't drink or smoke, I've been trying to wait out the insomnia," he said. He felt like he owed the man an explanation.

"You know that your voice…you're speaking softer than you used to."

Ryan was surprised. He couldn't really remember speaking to anyone in Reno, apart from the dealers. "Yeah?"

Sandy nodded. "It's okay, but it's going to take a little getting used to. We're okay, aren't we?"

Ryan nodded. "I'm sorry."

"No apologies. But I need you to know something."

Ryan stopped outside the poolhouse.

"We let you go to Chino. We let you go to Reno…we trust you. But you're home now. We want you to finish school, go to college."

Ryan considered Sandy's words. "You want me to be 17."

Sandy understood his thinking and nodded. "Yeah. Homework. Curfew. Spending time with the old folks."

"That sounds nice," he replied honestly. "What about Seth?"

Seth's absence was hanging over the house, puppy and all.

"He'll come home. I know he's safe," Sandy said.

Ryan stepped into the poolhouse. New sheets and pillows were on the bed. There was a desk stacked with books and a laptop. New clothes with the tags still on were by the shelves.

"Get some rest. Let us know if you need anything."

"Thanks, Sandy. For everything."

Ryan walked into the bathroom and immediately turned on the shower.

No place he'd ever been had water pressure like his bathroom here.

He'd missed Newport.

* * *

"I wish he'd shave," Kirsten said when Sandy walked into the poolhouse later that afternoon. She was sitting at his desk, watching the boy sleep. 

"You'll have to take that up with him," Sandy smiled. He'd been thinking the same thing.

"He's lost weight. He's still muscular, but he's thin. Rosa agrees with me," she added as he approached her.

"He's home, Kirsten. That's what's important. One down, one to go," he said.

"I hope he doesn't mind us watching him. I just…I wanted to see him," Kirsten sighed.

Sandy stepped away from her and gingerly sat down on the edge of the bed. Ryan wasn't sprawled out across the covers, instead, he was sleeping on his side with one of the pillows clasped tightly against his chest. Sandy reached out and brushed some of his shaggy hair off his forehead.

Ryan stirred slightly and finally opened his eyes, training his gaze on Sandy. "Hey."

"Sorry to wake you. You've been out a while. Feel up to coming in for dinner?" he asked.

"Okay," Ryan replied, sitting up slowly. "What time is it?"

"Around six. You've been napping for about five hours," Kirsten answered, walking over to stand beside him.

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's okay. But Kirsten wants you to eat something and then you can get back to your nap," Sandy said.

"Sure," Ryan said, getting out of bed and to his feet.

"How much weight have you lost?" Kirsten asked, looping her arm around his waist.

"I don't know. A little. I didn't really pay much attention," Ryan replied.

Sandy was still having a hard time adjusting to the change in Ryan's voice. It was almost like he didn't want to waste his breath on words.

Once they were inside, Ryan sat down at the counter and looked over the takeout boxes Kirsten had arranged. "I think I need to go see Eva tomorrow."

Kirsten glanced at him, concerned before returning her attention to Ryan. "Honey, are you sure?"

"Yeah. I owe it to her to at least explain things to her, face to face," Ryan said.

"Will you let one of us go with you?" Sandy asked.

"If you want. But I'm not going to disappear again. I mean it. You guys don't have to watch my every move," he said.

"We know that. But seeing Eva is probably going to be tough. You don't have to do it alone," Sandy said.

Ryan considered his words. "Okay."

"Good. And even though it's just us, we're still going to eat around the table, so go ahead and get your seat," Sandy smiled.

Ryan slowly made his way over to the dining room table and took his seat. He glanced down and saw the dog sleeping soundly under the table. "So, have you named him yet?"

"Well, since Sandy keeps calling him 'dog' and he doesn't seem to like the name 'fluffy' that I picked out," Kirsten started, "I think we're going to have to wait a while."

"So we have a dog named 'Dog'?" Ryan smirked.

"Seems so," Sandy laughed, helping Kirsten set the table.

"Suits him," Ryan said, nudging it with his foot. The dog glared at him but slid over to make room for his feet.

"So, do you have everything that you need?" Kirsten asked, sitting down across from him as Sandy took the seat at the end of the table.

"Yeah. It's weird being here without Seth, though. There's no news?" Ryan asked.

"Not since the postcard. I know I should be worried…but I'm not. I know he's okay. He's just…pouting," Kirsten replied.

Ryan nodded.

"He'll come home, kid. He just has to be ready to come home, kind of like you. He needs time," Sandy said.

"Yeah, I get that," Ryan replied. But Sandy knew that it was different. Ryan had lost a girlfriend, someone he loved, and he'd lost a child. Seth hadn't lost anything.

* * *

Marissa answered the door because she was on her way out to meet Summer and DJ. 

She was stunned to see Ryan on her porch. She hadn't spoken to him in weeks, since a night when she'd called him drunk and said things she couldn't take back. "Ryan."

"Hey. I just wanted to give you the heads up that I was back."

"You're back?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"What happened? Where's Teresa?" she asked, stricken by his thinned frame and scraggly beard. He looked like he'd been through hell and back and she had to strain to hear his voice.

"Teresa's dead. It's a long story. I took off after it happened but I'm back now."

"Teresa…oh, Ryan…" Marissa pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry…I didn't know…"

"It's okay. I'm okay…or at least, I'm getting there."

"Come in…" she said immediately, releasing him.

"That's okay. Your mom and Caleb own this place, I'm okay outside. Besides, you look like you're on your way out."

"Summer's coming to pick me up…" she said.

"Can I walk you to the driveway? I better be getting back to the Cohens anyway," Ryan said.

She looped her arm through his elbow and they made the short walk to the driveway. Summer's convertible was idling behind the Range Rover.

"Chino, what are you doing here?" she called, stepping out of the car.

"Ryan's back at the Cohens, Summer," Marissa said, trying to stop the smaller girl before she launched into a bunch of questions. She had enough of her own.

"What? What about Teresa? Didn't you leave us all so you could take care of her? I mean, didn't Stupidass Cohen run off because he was so devastated about you leaving? And you just come back once it gets too hard for you? You come running back to their money?" Summer snapped in a rush.

Marissa opened her mouth to scold her but Ryan held up his hand, stopping her. He looked at Summer with cold eyes. "Is that it?"

"What?" Summer seemed startled.

"You have more things to say to me?" Ryan asked again. "Get it off your chest, now, Summer, because you won't get another chance." He held out his arms, waiting for her to lash out more.

"You're such an ass. What the hell are you doing back here?"

"Honestly, you ruined any right to an explanation, Summer. I'm sure Marissa will fill you in," Ryan snorted, turning back to her. "Marissa, maybe I'll see you at school." He leaned closer and planted a chaste kiss on her cheek. "Take care of yourself, okay?" He climbed into the Range Rover and pulled out of the driveway.

"What the hell, Coop?"

"Teresa died," Marissa stated quietly. "That's why he's back."

"What?" Summer's previous anger was gone and the guilt had leaked onto her face. "She's dead?"

"He didn't say much, but he said he took off after it happened. He's starting school next week and wanted to give me warning. He seems so…he's sad, Summer, and you just went off on him like it's his fault that Seth left. It's not his fault."

"I know. I guess…I just thought he would come back after finding out that Seth was gone…" Summer sighed.

"He had bigger things on his mind than Seth's tantrum," Marissa replied. "Forget it. Let's go to the mall, like we planned."

"No. Scratch that. I have to apologize to Chino," Summer said.

"Maybe you should just give him some time, Summer. Let's go," Marissa said.

* * *

Ryan climbed out of the pool when he finished his laps. He toweled off and sat down in one of the chairs to air-dry before going into the kitchen. The puppy was waiting patiently by his chair to be walked. Dog took after him, he didn't say much, but he spoke volumes with a glare. 

He was bored. He was actually looking forward to starting school back.

In Reno, he'd spent up to sixteen hours a day sitting at a table and gambling. He had to keep himself distracted so he wouldn't think about Teresa. Dying. Dead.

Now, even though he was glad to be home, he was having trouble filling the time. Sandy and Kirsten didn't want him to get a job but they'd started to waver. He needed to keep busy.

40 laps in the pool. Naps. Hours of video games with Kirsten. He'd run down the beach while Sandy surfed, anything to keep himself from thinking too long.

But today he was going to see Eva. He closed his eyes.

He didn't know how she was going to react. She'd seemed okay enough when he'd called her the previous night after his run-in with Summer, but Teresa was dead. Ryan couldn't give the woman back her daughter. And any and all excuses that he had for letting Trey and Arturo stay would fall flat against Eva.

"Ryan?"

He didn't recognize the voice immediately but sat up anyway, turning toward the house. Summer was standing by the door. Dog snapped alert, sitting up beside him. "Summer. Hey."

"I came to apologize for yesterday…" she started, approaching cautiously.

"No need. You said what you wanted. It's not like we're friends," Ryan replied. He didn't mean to be cold but he'd made a decision in Reno that he wouldn't waste his time on people that didn't give a fuck about him. People like Trey. And Summer. People that could care less whether he lived or died. Like Julie Cooper and Caleb Nichol. He didn't need their approval or their presence.

"We're not?"

"When have we ever been friends? You were Seth's girlfriend, for all I know, you still are. Don't worry about my feelings, Summer."

"Chino, I'm really sorry, I want to make it up to you…" she started again.

"There's nothing to make up, Summer. Seth's not here, you don't have to suck up to me. You've always made it very clear how you felt about me…" he sighed, leaning back in the chair.

Summer sat down beside him and reached out to pat Dog, visibly nervous. "How I felt about you? Chino…"

"Exactly. 'Chino.' You love to drive home how much you're slumming every time you speak to me," he replied.

"God…I'm sorry, I never meant it like that…cute dog."

Ryan glanced down at the dog who was licking Summer's hand affectionately.

"Kirsten wanted me to come home. She thought the puppy would help," Ryan explained.

"Where were you?" Summer asked softly.

"After Teresa died…I lost it for a little while. I crashed in Reno for a few weeks. Everything was too raw for me to go back to Chino. And I didn't really think I had a place here without Seth. His parents convinced me to come back," Ryan said. He met Summer's steady gaze. "I'm not here for their money. I'm here so I can finish school. Go to college. Be someone that Teresa would be proud of. I'm here because they want me here."

"I'm glad you came back," Summer said. "The Cohens…they've really missed you and Seth."

"Do you know where he is?" Ryan asked.

"You know how I lost it on you? Imagine double that and you can get an idea of what I said to him when he called me. It was a couple of weeks after he left…he hasn't called since," Summer confessed.

"I'm sorry. He's stupid."

She snorted. "That's an understatement. What's his name?" she asked, rubbing the puppy's ears.

"Dog," Ryan answered. The dog immediately turned to him, recognizing his name.

"Dog. Hmm. It suits him," she replied.

The dog left Summer's attentions and hopped into Ryan's chair, curling on his lap.

"Maybe we can be friends, Ryan. If you and Marissa can be friends, then I think we could try it. What do you say?" Summer offered.

Ryan shrugged. "Okay, Summer. We can try it."

"Besides. I want to know more about this precious Dog of yours," she said, obviously smitten with the puppy.

"Well, I'm about to take him for a walk. You're welcome to join us," Ryan said, Dog having hopped off his lap at the word 'walk'.

"That'd be nice."

* * *

Sandy was watching Ryan from the corner of his eye as he parked the BMW outside of Eva's house. He'd barely said a word on the drive down, but it wasn't unusual. The 'new' Ryan, as Kirsten had started calling him, didn't waste words. 

Granted, he'd come a long ways in the three days he'd been back. He had started making breakfast every morning, even if Rosa was there. He would go to the beach with Sandy and run while he surfed. He'd take long walks with Kirsten and Dog. He was settling into life in Newport again, but it wasn't the life he'd left.

Sandy could see that Ryan had matured a lot in his time away. Ryan had always been an 'old soul' but losing Teresa had taken something from him. Ryan was all business now. Caleb had shown up at the house last night and Ryan had ignored him completely, not even speaking to the older man. When Kirsten had approached him about it, he'd simply said that he didn't have the time or energy to fend off Caleb's insults and appreciated her understanding.

"Ryan. Can I come in with you?"

"That'd be nice," Ryan nodded.

They approached the porch but before they could get to the door, Eva stepped out and embraced Ryan.

"Where have you been? I've been worried sick, and just look at you, all skin and bones with this trash on your face, what would Teresa say?" Eva started, holding him by the shoulders and sizing him up.

"Eva…"

"Have you been feeding him? Come in, I'm going to give him a haircut," Eva said, nodding at Sandy.

"Eva, I don't need a haircut…" Ryan protested, following her into the house.

Sandy realized that Eva was more motherly toward him than he'd ever seen Dawn act. This woman clearly cared about him.

"You poor boy…I was so worried when you weren't here. You shouldn't have run off…"

"I couldn't stay," Ryan whispered.

"Arturo really messed up this time…I'm so sorry I wasn't here, Ryan. For you or Teresa…"

"How's your sister?" Ryan asked. Sandy sat down beside him on the couch.

"Still hanging on. I'm going to sell the house and move in with her. Most of my family is there anyway and without Teresa…there's no reason for me to stay here," she admitted, squeezing Ryan's hand. "It's so good to see you."

"I'm sorry."

"I know. But it wasn't your fault. It was an accident. You and Teresa have always had a soft spot for your big brothers…it shouldn't have happened but it did." Eva cupped his chin. "You'll come visit me, won't you?"

"Sure," Ryan said.

"And maybe…you'll come to church with me on Sunday? If Sandy and Kirsten don't mind…" Eva said.

"That'd be nice, Eva. The only time I've ever gone to church has been with you. Teresa would like that," Ryan replied.

"Now. About that haircut…" Eva said, standing up.

"No, Eva, it's fine…"

"At least shave that beard before you show up to take me to church," Eva scolded.

Ryan glanced at Sandy with a small smile. "I think I can do that."

* * *

Kirsten and Ryan went with Eva to church on Sunday and had lunch with her before returning home to Newport. 

"If you want to start going to church here, Ryan…" Kirsten started.

"No, really, it's fine. Eva was always pretty strict about us going. I'd crash at her house a lot and she insisted that I go to church if I was there. Learned a lot of manners from it," Ryan replied.

"Okay. Just thought I'd offer. We used to rotate Seth between the synagogue and church, but we stopped making him go when he turned about 14."

"I think it helps kids learn right from wrong…but once you hit a certain age, there's no sense in forcing anyone to go," Ryan replied. "It just makes them resent it."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. School starts tomorrow. Marissa and Summer are taking me out tonight. I get to meet Marissa's new boyfriend," he smirked.

"Oh. You're okay with that?" she asked, surprised.

"Yeah. She seems happy. She never really seemed happy with me," Ryan shrugged. "It's going to be awhile before I'm ready to start dating anyone again."

"Well, you guys be careful. And no fighting," she said absently.

"Don't worry. I'm done fighting with Marissa's boyfriends," he smirked.

"Have you heard from Luke lately?"

"Not since he went to Portland," Ryan shrugged. "Maybe I'll give him a call soon. See how he's doing."

Kirsten parked the Range Rover behind Sandy's BMW with a sigh, recognizing her father's car.

"I'll be in the poolhouse," Ryan said immediately. "Thanks for coming with me today."

"Thanks for letting me," she smiled. She waited until he disappeared around the edge of the house before walking in.

"Kiki, where have you been? Didn't you remember brunch?" her father asked as soon as she walked into the kitchen.

"Since I didn't know we were having brunch, I guess I didn't remember. Julie," Kirsten greeted her stepmother.

"Cal said you always have brunch on Sundays," Julie replied.

"Then he lied. Why don't you order something, Dad?" Kirsten asked.

Julie's eyes focused in on Ryan's figure entering the poolhouse. "When did Ryan get back?"

"A few days ago…"

"What happened to the girl he knocked up?"

"Excuse me?" Kirsten asked evenly, waiting for Julie to meet her gaze.

"Don't tell me, he came back here so you could support them both, right?" Julie smirked.

Caleb was watching them with amusement.

"Julie, I'm very aware that you're married to my father, but consider this your warning to watch what you say to me. Especially when you are talking about my children," Kirsten replied.

"Heavens, Kirsten, I mean no disrespect. But he did get the girl pregnant, I'd hate to see you and Sandy get dragged into supporting his 'baby's mama'…" Julie started.

"Julie. Unless you want me to ruin my fresh manicure by slapping some manners into you, I think you better leave my house," Kirsten said, staring her down.

"Kirsten…" her father protested.

"No. Ryan lives here. I won't have either of you badmouthing him in his own house. I've accepted Julie as your wife. The least you could do is accept Ryan as my son. If you can't, then you aren't welcome here either." Kirsten returned her attention to Julie. "And as for you. Since you repaid Jimmy for marrying you when you got pregnant with Marissa by dumping him as soon as your paycheck ran out, I don't think you have anything to say to me about Ryan being after money."

"Kiki…"

"Out. Now," she snapped, pointing toward the door.

* * *

Ryan made it through his first week of school with minimal damage. The work was hard, he was behind from his months working in Chino but luckily, most of the kids were just as indifferent about his return as he was. Marissa and Summer stuck close to him and he couldn't help but notice the similarities between Summer's new boyfriend, Zach to Seth and DJ's similarity to him. 

He'd gotten Luke's phone number from Marissa and decided to call him before he took Dog out for his daily run on the beach.

"Hello?"

"Can I speak to Luke?" Ryan asked.

"Sure, hang on."

Ryan sat down on his bed as Dog hopped up beside him. The dog had made himself at home and was free to roam in and out of the main house and poolhouse. Because of the warm weather, they kept one of the patio doors open and one of the poolhouse doors open so he could come and go.

Dog curled up on his physics book as he heard the phone change hands. "Hello?"

"Luke? Hey, it's Ryan."

"Chino? No way, what's up?"

"Nothing. Just wanted to check in with you. See how Portland's treating you."

"It's been too long, man. You still in Chino?"

"Nah. I've been back in Newport for a couple of weeks."

"What happened to Teresa?"

"Long story," Ryan sighed.

"Is she okay?" Luke asked after a pause.

"She died. I flipped a little but Sandy and Kirsten finally convinced me to come back. You know Seth took off, right?"

"Yeah. I know. He's been here for two months," Luke answered.

Ryan froze.

"Ryan?"

"He's with you?"

"Yeah. He's working down at the pier teaching sailing lessons. You didn't know?"

"His parents are worried sick. They're beside themselves…"

"He said they knew…"

"Well, he lied. Can you give him a message?" Ryan asked.

"Do you want to talk to him?"

Ryan snorted. "No. I don't. But you can let him know that if he doesn't get his ass back to Newport in the next twenty four hours that I will personally fly up there and kick his ass so hard that he won't be able to sit down for the flight back."

"Ryan…"

"He's a spoiled little bitch, Luke…"

"He's your best friend…" Luke protested.

"Seth is not my best friend. Not anymore. He severed his ties with me when he decided to take off."

"Why are you so pissed?"

"Because he doesn't care about anyone but himself. His mom cried every day for the first month that he was gone. Sandy quit the law firm so he could have time to search for him. Summer started therapy. I mean…I thought he was better than that. But he's just a little self-absorbed prick, so caught up in his own drama that he doesn't stop to think about how his little 'trip' would affect the people that cared about him. Give him my message, Luke. I have to go tell his parents where he is."

"Ryan…"

Ryan hung up the phone and paced in place for a moment. He pulled back his arm and hurled the phone at the wall. The phone broke and Dog started barking frantically.

"Dog…" Ryan started, immediately regretting his action because the dog wouldn't stop barking.

"Ryan? Ryan, what is it? What's wrong with Dog?" Kirsten asked, rushing into the room.

"I broke the phone and he got upset," Ryan admitted. The dog finally stopped barking and settled down in Kirsten's care.

"Why'd you break the phone?" Kirsten asked.

"I called Luke. In Portland. Seth's been staying with him for the past two months," Ryan said.

Kirsten paled. "He's…he's been at Luke's? All this time?"

"Apparently."

"Well. I need to talk to Sandy. We'll get you a new phone tomorrow," she said, turning.

"I'm sorry…"

"It's not your fault. I just…I can't believe he wouldn't call us. I need to talk to Sandy," she said, walking out of the poolhouse.

Dog hopped off the bed and trotted over beside him.

"You ready to walk, Dog?"

He barked and followed Ryan to the door.

* * *

Kirsten hung up the phone and turned to Sandy. 

"What did Carson say?"

"He thought we knew. Seth swore to him that he'd cleared it with us. He's driving Seth to the airport and Luke's going to fly back with him to make sure he doesn't run off," she sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"That kid…I can't believe he's been there this whole time."

"He'll be getting in around midnight, do you want to pick him up?" Kirsten asked.

"You don't?"

"I'm so mad, Sandy," she admitted. "I just want him home so I can ground the hell out of him."

"Get in line. How'd Ryan take the news?"

"Broke the poolhouse phone. Upset Dog. But he told me as soon as he knew. And apparently, he said something to Luke that had Seth on way back anyway," she admitted.

"Should I call Dr. Kim and see if he can register late?"

"No," she said suddenly. "He has to deal with the consequences of his actions. If he wants to plead his case to her, then he can, if not, he'll be getting a full time job until next semester starts."

Sandy was surprised but nodded. "Good."

"He has to learn, Sandy," she sighed.

"I know."

"Oh. And between you and me…all the comics that have been coming for him are stored in the guest room's closet. Rosa's been wrapping them up and boxing them but I don't think he should have access to them either," Kirsten said, sitting down at the counter. "I'm taking the computer and TV from his room as soon as Ryan gets back to help me. I already disconnected his phone service. If he can't use the phone to call home then he doesn't need it for anything."

Sandy nodded. "Wow. This is the first time you've ever decided to be the hardass."

"Well, he hurt me, Sandy. He deserves it. All this time I've been worried and stressed and dying to see him and I find out that he's taking advantage of Carson and not calling us. Nothing's wrong with him, he's not hurt or in trouble…he hurt me," she replied.

Sandy embraced her tightly. "He's coming home. You don't have to be worried anymore…"

"Gives me lots more time to be pissed off."

* * *

Sandy waited at the gate and recognized Luke first. He shook the boy's hand. "Thanks for bringing him home." He met his son's gaze coldly. 

Seth was healthy and tan with a crooked grin on his face. He stepped over as if to hug his father but Sandy simply shook his head disapprovingly at him.

"Dad…"

"Are you flying back tonight?" Sandy asked Luke.

"Yeah. I'm flying back out in an hour. Could you ask Ryan to give me a call?" Luke replied.

"Sure. And again, thanks for getting him back," Sandy smiled.

Luke nodded to Cohen and hurried off to find his return gate.

"Dad…"

"Where are your bags?" Sandy asked him.

"This is all I have…" Seth said quietly, slowly realizing that Sandy wasn't dropping his anger.

"Let's go then."

"You're really mad," Seth stated, following him.

"Oh, you have no idea," Sandy snorted.

"I'm sorry."

"That's not enough this time."

"Dad…"

Sandy stopped and spun around to face his son. "You are not a child. But you're forcing us to treat you like one. You acted like one. We did not raise you to act like this. Not one phone call. Not an email. A single postcard. You could've been dead, hurt, in trouble and we had no idea."

"Dad…"

"No," Sandy snapped. "You've shown how much you care about our family. But you're stuck with us until you're eighteen. After that, you're free to do what you want."

"God, Dad…" Seth started again.

"I don't need to hear your excuses. You didn't feel the need to explain yourself all summer, your chance is gone," Sandy said. "Let's go home."

* * *

Ryan was curled up in his bed with his physics homework by his head and Dog curled by his feet. Sandy didn't like Dog in their bedroom so he'd taken to staying with Ryan in the poolhouse. 

He dozed off on the last problem and woke up to the sound of Dog's low growl.

"Ryan?" Seth's voice was tentative.

Dog barked.

"Who's your friend?" Seth asked, hesitating in the doorway.

Dog growled again.

"Dog, chill," Ryan said softly and the puppy immediately calmed, sitting down on the edge of the bed closest to Seth.

"Your dog's name is Dog?" Seth smirked.

"He's the house dog. And yes, that's his name."

"Mom must've missed me to buy a dog, she never let me have one when I was a kid," Seth said, stepping over and tentatively holding out his hand for the puppy.

Dog barked and Seth immediately pulled his hand back.

"Seth. I have school tomorrow and it's late," Ryan said.

"Why are you talking like that?" Seth asked.

"It's how I talk," Ryan replied.

"So, you're pissed too. I was hoping you'd at least have my back…"

"Fuck you, Seth," Ryan said.

"What?" Seth gasped.

"You heard me. Now, get out of my room."

Seth hesitated but finally turned and left. Dog settled back by his feet.

* * *

Kirsten woke up early the next morning and smelled breakfast from the kitchen. She left Sandy dozing and cinched her robe before making her way to the kitchen. 

"Morning," Ryan said, not looking at her as he flipped a pancake. Rosa was chopping fruit beside him.

"Morning. Pancakes today?" Kirsten glanced at the table and saw five places set. Since Ryan had started cooking, he'd insisted that Rosa eat with them.

"I'm tired of cereal," Ryan shrugged.

"Lately all you've been having is coffee for breakfast. You don't get food in your stomach by osmosis," Rosa scolded him quietly.

"Is Seth going to school today?" Ryan asked.

"I don't know."

Ryan raised an eyebrow at her.

"Since he wasn't planning on coming back, he obviously wasn't planning on finishing school. If he wants to go to Dr. Kim and ask to be enrolled late, I'll take him. If not, he's going to be working full time for the Newport Group. Those are his options," she replied

"Harsh."

"Did you talk to him?" she asked.

"Nope. Well, I said enough to get him out of my room."

She nodded. She knew that Ryan was angry with Seth. He was angry at a lot of people but he'd made a point to avoid confrontation since his return home. She knew from Marissa that he wouldn't even step foot in her house because of Caleb and Julie.

"I'm sorry that I can't just forgive him. But I can't."

"It's okay. It's going to take a while for me to forgive him, too," she replied.

Seth entered, bedraggled. "Hey."

"Welcome back, Seth," Rosa said, giving him a polite hug before returning to her vegetables. Dog growled from under the table.

"That animal hates me," Seth muttered.

"Dog doesn't hate anyone, do you?" Kirsten replied, kneeling as the puppy wagged his tail and hurried over for her attention.

"Pancakes," Ryan stated, holding out a plate.

"Thanks," Seth replied, accepting it.

Ryan didn't keep his gaze, returning his attention to the stove.

"Have a seat, Seth, we have breakfast together during the week," Kirsten said. Seth nodded, starting past her toward the table.

"Be nice, Dog," Kirsten said, patting him fondly before getting up to wash her hands.

Sandy arrived with a yawn. "Morning, guys. Ooh, pancakes, I won't be surfing today."

Seth was silent. He'd received a tongue-lashing the night before worthy of the Nana. Kirsten was happy to see him but she was more hurt by his absence and couldn't start coddling him on his first day back. She wanted to see what he'd do to fix the mess he'd left first.

"Just don't eat so many this time, Sandy," Ryan replied, finishing another stack and holding out a plate.

"'Morning, Seth. Sleep well?" Sandy asked, sitting down beside his son at the table.

"Fine. When can I get my stuff back?" Seth asked.

"You haven't even been home a whole day, Seth," Sandy replied.

"I'd just like to know how long I have to suffer," he sighed.

Ryan finished the pancakes and turned to Kirsten. "Is it okay if I head out early for school? The coach wanted to talk to me…"

"You're thinking about trying out again?"

"He's thinking about it," Ryan muttered, rolling his eyes. "Is that okay?"

"Promise to eat lunch and you can go," she said.

"Thanks. I'll be home later," Ryan said, turning to leave. Dog trotted out behind him.

"I thought you said we had breakfast together," Seth said, his gaze following Ryan to the poolhouse.

"Ryan has to be at school early today," Kirsten replied, sitting down at the table.

"Have you decided what you want to do today? School or work?" Sandy asked.

"I can't believe that you guys aren't going to talk to Dr. Kim for me…" Seth replied suddenly.

"Really? You can't believe it?" Sandy snapped. "You weren't worried about school two days ago. You think we're going to keep indulging you after the way you treated us?"

"I said I was sorry," Seth replied. "It was a bad idea, I didn't think about how you guys would react, God, I'm sorry!"

"Still not good enough," Sandy replied, standing up. "I've lost my appetite. I'll see you for dinner," he said, kissing Kirsten on the cheek.

She took a bite of her pancake and waited for Seth to look away.

"Mom…I'm sorry. What do I have to do to make it up to you?"

"I don't know if you can, Seth. You're my son and I love you. I always thought you'd love me back but you don't seem to care about anyone's feelings but yourself. You must've gotten more of your grandfather's genes than I thought," she added.

"You're comparing me to Grandpa?" Seth whispered, affected.

"We needed you around here. I needed you. That girl that showed up on my front porch crying her eyes out because you left her, she needed you. Ryan needed you…"

"He won't talk to me…"

"I don't blame him. He had an…an awful summer, Seth. He lost Teresa, his oldest friend, his first love, she died and their baby died. And you weren't here. He needed you, Seth and you were too busy throwing a tantrum to be here. I'll forgive you, Seth, eventually. But I won't plead your case to Ryan. I don't even know if you deserve his forgiveness."

Seth was silent. "What happened? To Teresa, I mean."

"Honestly, Seth? It's none of your business," she replied. "I'm going to get dressed. If you want me to drive you to school, let me know when I come back down. If not, be ready to go to work."

* * *

Ryan glimpsed Seth walking down the hall with Dr. Kim after his first period class. 

He knew that Seth was having a bad day, but he didn't regret his feelings no matter how sullen and unhappy Seth looked.

"Hey. So, he's back," Marissa nodded, joining him by his locker.

"Yep. He was at Luke's in Portland. Flew in last night."

"How much trouble is he in?" she asked.

Ryan closed his locker. "Lots, I think. I'm not really talking to him."

"How long's that going to last?" Marissa asked.

"Until I'm out of the house," Ryan shrugged.

"You're really going to make me suffer, aren't you?" Seth's voice startled them both.

"Not everything is about you," Ryan replied evenly. "I'm doing this for me."

"What does that mean?" Seth asked.

"It means I've wasted enough time with people that don't care about me. I'm done with that. I've had to walk away from friends before and I know how that works but I've never expected them to take me back into their graces after the way I treated them. You walk away, you're done with me," Ryan replied.

"It was a mistake, Ryan, I didn't think you'd be coming back…"

"Your mistake. Not mine. Excuse me, I have to get to class," Ryan said coldly, walking away.

"Ouch," Marissa said.

"Tell me about it. Ryan hates me, my parents won't even look at me and Summer…" Seth started.

"There she is. You better run," Marissa warned as Summer turned the corner.

Seth took off toward his next class before Summer could reach them.

* * *

Dog was waiting for Ryan when he got home on the front steps of the house with his leash in his mouth. 

"I'm tired, Dog, give me a few minutes to put my stuff down," Ryan sighed, tiredly.

Dog followed him to the poolhouse.

"So. You'll talk to a dog but you won't talk to me," Seth said somberly from the chair in the poolhouse.

Dog barked at him.

"Dog doesn't talk back. At least to me," Ryan replied, dropping his backpack by his desk.

"I'm sorry, Ryan. I know that doesn't mean anything now, but it's still true. How long are you going to punish me?"

"I'm not punishing you, Seth," Ryan said flatly.

"What happened to Teresa?" Seth asked.

"She died," Ryan clipped.

"But…"

"Seth. If you care about your health, you better not bring up Teresa again. I'll declare a truce simply because we live in the same house and it'll make your parents happy, something they haven't been since you disappeared. But do not mention Teresa to me. Got it?" Ryan snapped.

Seth nodded, pale.

"It's going to be a long time before I talk about that with anyone. Especially you," Ryan replied.

"Sorry…"

Ryan studied the boy. He seemed sincerely apologetic. Seth's boisterous enthusiasm was muted and he was visibly upset.

"I messed up. I knew it as soon as I got to Portland. I couldn't come back…not after leaving the way I did and not with you gone. I know it's selfish and stupid, but I…I messed up. And no one's even talking to me or telling me how to fix it. Summer's got a contract out on my life, you won't even look me in the face and my own parents are treating me like the antichrist. Mom said I was like Grandpa…" Seth said quietly.

Ryan could see the resemblance but he didn't remark out loud.

"I don't even know where to start. Dr. Kim let me enroll late but I'm not in any of my AP courses and Mom and Dad don't even care…"

"They do care. If you'd seen them this summer, you'd know how much they care," Ryan replied.

"Did you see them this summer?" Seth countered.

"I talked to your mom every day. I visited every chance I could. I didn't walk away from Newport, Seth, I kept in touch. I was going to enroll in school once the baby…" Ryan let his words drift off. "I'm taking Dog for a walk."

Dog obediently picked up the abandoned leash and sat down beside Ryan.

"You really loved her, didn't you?" Seth asked.

Ryan glared at him.

"Sorry. So…truce?"

"Truce."

"And we're friends again?"

"I don't know if we were ever really friends," Ryan replied honestly. "I'll see you at dinner."

* * *

Seth heard the evil creature's bark from his bed. 

He was miserable.

He hadn't considered what he was leaving behind.

Well, he had, but not the good things.

He'd been leaving his friendless existence behind.

Not his parents. Summer.

Not Ryan.

He was self-centered. He'd focused in on the fact that Ryan was leaving. Not that he'd still be his best friend, only an hour away.

"Seth. Can I come in?" Ryan asked in his new voice.

Ryan had changed. His eyes were cold and impenetrable and his voice was soft and deep. Seth didn't recognize any of the attributes that had made them friends in the first place.

Seth nodded and then saw the dog beside Ryan. "He can't."

"Dog's not going to do anything, right?" Ryan glanced at the vile animal.

The creature stared at Seth.

"Truce, Dog," Ryan said.

Seth could swear he heard the thing grumble as it plodded over to him.

"Make friends," Ryan said, following it in.

Seth petted the dog gingerly.

"It's a start," Ryan sighed, shuffling nervously.

"What's up?" Seth asked.

"Even though you're not in AP classes, you can still take the AP tests," Ryan stated.

"What?"

"Your classes. The AP tests are in the spring. I can give you my notes. At Harbor, the regular classes and the AP classes really aren't that different.

"How do you know?"

"I…I asked a lot of questions when I was in Chino. When I didn't know if I'd be able to be in school right now," Ryan replied.

"Thanks. For telling me…and your notes," Seth said tentatively. Was this the olive branch?

"Me and Dog, we ran awhile. The little guy can't keep up and…I thought about you. How hard it is for you to be here. For some reason, I feel like I need to explain stuff to you."

Dog paced an uneasy circle around Ryan's feet.

"See…your parents are awesome. They've always taken care of you. Me…not so much. I had to get by on my own, with my friends…Teresa was everything to me once…and she was again this summer. You were gone, you, my best friend, my _ground _and…she was my everything again…"

Seth nodded. He knew how much Ryan meant to him so he understood.

"And my brother showed up. Her brother. And we had to help them because they were our family…but nobody seems to think about the baby. He didn't have a say. And Teresa and me…we loved him but nobody else gave a fuck and…"

Seth felt the tears streaming down his face but he didn't speak.

"Sandy came. Saw Trey. They were both so pissed…I took Sandy and I left Teresa at the house with Trey and 'Turo and she died. Our baby died. It's not your fault, it's not Sandy's fault, it's my fault, it's Trey and Arturo's fault…but fuck all that because Teresa and the baby are dead." Ryan's voice gave out and he sighed heavily. "Sometimes we don't get second chances."

The dog barked suddenly, startling them both.

Seth couldn't think of anything to say.

"I didn't know how much it would hurt you when I left," Ryan whispered.

"Neither did I," Seth replied honestly, standing up. "I'm sorry that I left. I'm sorry I hurt you. But I'm more sorry that I didn't see how much you loved her." He impulsively reached out and pulled Ryan into a hug.

The insane dog started to bark frantically, terribly upset.

"Seth?" His dad ran into the room, panicked.

"He just freaked…" Seth said.

Dog continued to yip, upset until Ryan kneeled down beside him, speaking softly until the puppy relaxed.

"You guys okay?" his dad asked, concerned.

"Yeah," Ryan said.

"Truce," Seth nodded.

"Truce?" Sandy asked Ryan.

"Some people don't get second chances. Some people do," Ryan said, standing up. "I've got homework." He left with the dog following eagerly at his heels.

"I took everything for granted," Seth said aloud. Life was a gift.

His father studied him. "Truce."

Seth stared at him, startled.

"We missed you, Seth."

"Me, too, Daddy…" Seth said, embracing his father.

And he cried like a fucking baby because he'd never been so happy to have a dad like this.

* * *

Ryan couldn't chop the vegetables for dinner, his hands were shaking too badly. 

"Ryan. You okay?" Kirsten.

"Yeah."

"You don't look okay."

He put down the knife and turned to face her. "I've already talked too much today."

"Don't talk then," she whispered. Her arms were around him before he could respond. He felt himself curling into her embrace.

"I know you're sad. I know you're hurting. I wish I could make it better. I wish I could take it all away."

"Me, too…" he murmured. He was so tired. He was tired of hurting. He was tired of feeling.

"I'm here for you," she whispered.

"I know."

She smoothed his hair as she released him and peered into his eyes. "What can I do for you?"

"Chop vegetables?" he asked. "I need a minute…" He rushed out of the kitchen, suffocating.

The outside brought no relief. He felt like everything was closing in on him and he couldn't breathe. Talking to Seth had opened up a box of emotions that were threatening to overtake him.

He was going to combust. A ball of fire was about to incinerate him.

Teresa was dead.

His child was dead.

Dead.

"Ryan, stop...I've got you…" Sandy.

And he exploded.

It was dark.

* * *

Sandy and Seth managed to carry Ryan to bed and a useless visit from the doctor had finally resigned them to the face that Ryan had collapsed due to exhaustion. 

But Dog was inconsolable, howling pitifully from outside the poolhouse.

"Go inside, Seth. I'll stay," Sandy said.

"I'm not leaving him. I need to be here," his son replied quietly.

Ryan was out, his face peaceful on top of the pillow.

"He's really upset. He talked to me tonight. When the animal got upset," Seth admitted, standing up and opening the door to let Dog in.

Sandy watched the dog enter and sniff around Ryan's bed before climbing up and nudging Ryan's knee.

Ryan didn't stir.

Kirsten walked in and immediately went to Ryan's side. "Any change?"

"Nope," Sandy answered.

"I can't believe we didn't see how tired he was…I mean, I knew he wasn't sleeping because his light's almost always on, but this…" she sighed, brushing his hair aside.

"He's going to be fine, Kirsten. The doctor says he just needs to rest…" Sandy said.

"You didn't upset him, did you, Seth?" Kirsten asked, turning to her son.

"I don't know. We…he called a truce. Explained stuff to me. What happened in Chino…it was almost like he quasi-forgave me before 'Snoop' started acting up," Seth replied.

"Snoop?" Sandy questioned.

"You know, Snoop Dogg?" Seth asked, reaching over to pet the dog.

The dog growled at him.

"Grumpy, isn't he?" Seth muttered.

"Protective," Kirsten said, rubbing Dog's ears tenderly.

"Not a big fan of emotional outbursts, though," Sandy said.

Dog pulled away from Kirsten's touch and nudged Ryan's knee again. He whined piteously and looked at Kirsten.

"He has to rest, Dog. Let's go inside and get something to eat, okay? Seth, you too. You can come back as soon as you've eaten," Kirsten said.

"But…"

"No arguments. I'm not having another kid collapse on me," she said sternly.

"Okay."

Seth followed her from the poolhouse.

Dog didn't follow her. Sandy watched him settle at the foot of Ryan's bed to wait with him.

* * *

"Ryan…wake up, Ryan…" 

He could hear the voice calling to him but he couldn't obey, something was holding him down…oh. Wait…

"Ryan?"

He opened his eyes and recognized Sandy holding his arms.

"It was just a nightmare, I'm going to let you go…" Sandy said, releasing him, relieved.

"Thanks…sorry. What are you…"

"You collapsed. About six hours ago, on the patio. Do you remember?" Sandy asked gently.

"I…I couldn't breathe."

"You haven't been sleeping. You're exhausted and your body finally gave out."

"I'm…"

"If your next word is 'fine', then don't even bother finishing," Sandy said.

"You can read minds now?" Ryan asked, sitting up stiffly.

"I'm getting better. Now, before I go tell Kirsten that you're conscious, you might want to get a shower because it's going to be a while before she lets you out of bed again."

"I have school…"

"Not this week. Seth's getting your work and you have a doctor's excuse. You have to rest, Ryan," Sandy said.

Ryan started to protest but recognized Sandy's serious face.

Seth entered the poolhouse with Dog on his leash. "Dad, this dog is totally awesome, he's like a miniature 'Ryan'…"

"Getting along?" Ryan asked. The dog jerked the leash out of Seth's hand and pounced on the bed, visibly excited that Ryan was awake.

"Dude, there was this jock on the beach that started talking junk and Dog just went off on him, he stole his shoe!" Seth said, holding up a flip-flop.

"He's a good dog," Ryan smiled.

"You okay?" Seth asked.

"Getting there. Thanks," Ryan said.

"Mom and Rosa are on the warpath," Seth warned. "They've got a spread of food inside worthy of Thanksgiving. As soon as she knows you're up, you're in for it."

"I'm going to get that shower," Ryan said.

"And then what are you going to do?" Sandy asked.

"Go back to bed?" Ryan hesitated.

"Good boy."


End file.
